Struggling Together...

Raphael Moffett is one of our outstanding MMKC Region Representatives. He represents Region III, if my memory serves well. As we’ve been preparing for our pre-conference at the national conference in Phoenix, he’s been sharing with me about his concept of ‘struggling together’ with our students. He is referencing the need to balance the request that our students examine their own lives through a gendered lens (a task that is often met with a sense of struggle on various levels) with our need as educators and facilitators to do the same – with them. He posits that we are to not only walk beside them, but share our lives with them. As my mind was recently playing with this concept, I thought about the fact that as educators, we often struggle together in a number of ways. Or, perhaps, we should be sharing our struggles with each other more often.

I can remember mentoring young men in the past and grappling with how I should be guiding them and speaking into their dating lives. I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to tell them stories from my past and how I failed – how would they see me then? In the end, I found it freeing to give them a chance to learn from my mistakes. They also seemed to respect me because of my honesty. Likewise, when counseling a supervisee about some of his worries and performance issues, we both seemed to relax when I allowed myself to ‘go there’ and let him know about my shortcomings in the past, and the ways that I am currently unsure of how my supervisor views the work that I produce. I also have a dear friend at a former institution who has continually pressed me to understand my many privileges. I cherish the times we have together, mostly on the phone any more, when she can give me a different perspective on life. This only happens because I’ve allowed her in that ‘space’ and she has committed a part of her life to my educating me about the realities of those with less privilege.

I find colleagues struggling to fight ignorance, politics, and apathy on campuses regarding issues of masculinity, feminism, and inclusion. I find colleagues struggling to balance their ‘day jobs’ with their gender work. I find colleagues struggling to find the words to speak truth into the lives of students. I find colleagues struggling against the workings of a strict code that follows the gender binary. I find colleagues struggling to find the time to explore the literature that will help to educate them about topics that are germane to their constituencies and stakeholders. I find colleagues struggling to advocate for professional development funds so that they may more fully engage in national conversations of import. I find colleagues struggling to have the awareness and find the energy needed to reflect on themselves as gendered beings and grow in their understanding of the impact of having grown up in a society that places such varied emphases on gender.

As I previously mentioned, let’s struggle together. Call your Regional Representative. Call a friend on campus. Make a new friend in your multicultural center, your women’s studies faculty, or in your student body. Commit to reading one article this year and then host a brown bag lunch to discuss the contents therein.

We cannot do this on our own.

Personally, I feel blessed to have such a strong network of colleagues, friends, and mentors throughout the country who I can count on to listen as I vent, share as I inquire, and call me out when I’m oppressing a person or group. We all do it, no need to hide it. Growth occurs when we can critically analyze such concepts against a number of different events and philosophies. To do so is to struggle. To struggle is to be frustrated, and in the words of one of my mentors, frustration breeds change, and change breeds growth.

And who can argue with growth?

Patrick Tanner is the Director of Student and Enrollment Services at Pennsylvania State University - York and serves as the MMKC Region II Representative.  He can be reached at ptanner@psu.edu.